The following Caring Bridge entry is submitted in the hopes that it may encourage someone going through very hard times. For me, that has been cancer treatment and the loss of a child:

Further recent reflection leads to this attempt to document what seems to me to be significant learning about my life journey and my evolving relationship with our Heavenly Father.
I find that I’ve been attempting to reconcile His Love (which I do experience) with the journey our family has been on. I have never before felt the need to do this. I believe that the events of the last two years eventually forced me to face really hard questions.

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In my blog on Mindfulness you will find rationale and technique, mostly as it relates to stress and anxiety reduction. Mindfulness is also used to get down to issues so they can be addressed.

We can categorize issues into three areas. Did the person feel safe, loved and valued? Each area is important and they work in order. If a person frequently felt frightened and unsafe growing up, work in that area will be most productive. If a person felt physically safe but not loved, work will be mostly useful in that area. Many people felt physically safe and loved but did not get the message that they brought much of value to the table. In that case, work should focus there.

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The following is a post I did for Caring Bridge just recently (end of April, 2016). For those who don’t know, I was diagnosed with a treatable form of cancer (GIST) in November of 2015 and was out of the office until April of 2016 due to complications and surgery for a small intestinal blockage. I am grateful to have survived and to be able to work.

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Timely and pithy article by a respected Psychiatrist:

A Psychiatrist’s Letter to Young People About 50 Shades of Grey

MIRIAM GROSSMAN, M.D.
There’s nothing gray about Fifty Shades of Grey. It’s all black.

I help people who are broken inside. I ask questions, and listen carefully to the answers.

One thing I’ve learned is that young people are utterly confused about love — finding it and keeping it. They make poor choices, and end up in lots of pain. Continue reading →

The Christmas season brings great expectations…and pressures. Whew! While on the phone for technical support a couple of days ago, a woman said she couldn’t wait until Christmas was over for another year. I didn’t want to agree with that sentiment,  but I sure do understand it!

I sincerely hope you and your family had a great couple of weeks-and found some time to rest.

Because we have greater stress, we are more likely to have had some fractious encounters with loved ones!

It may be time to re-up on our conflict management skills!

Here are some tips from the highly regarded Psychologist John Gottman:

1) soft start up to any conflict that arises or that we must address
2) accept influence of others. Hear them and understand them.
3) use positive affect in the service of de-escalation
4) soothe yourself to stay calm
5) use apology and humor
6) create a dialogue. We don’t have to be “right”

How about picking just one of the above and working on it this new year?There’s amazing power in that kind of focussed effort!

Happy New Year!